Officially a BABY MAMA

.....let's recap. We just got done eating MEXICAN.....what comes next.... the part where I use those fancy kegal muscles and have two babies...
so.

blurry, I know, but it's the best shot I have of my attempt to make my gown more attractive. 

We go to the hospital and check in (I've never been a patient in a hospital before so I'm kind of excited, because when I got my tour it looked really fun, you know, like a mini vacation. So I'm pretty giddy arriving at my room and finding a place for all of my belongings (which I never used, or wore). It's probably around 8 o clock on Tuesday night and I am set. I sign some paperwork, get my hospital gown on (I didn't know those were real, I always just assumed that was for movies, but ya, not so cute), get my bed all set up, get an IV in (which was horrible) and then it's time for them to start that first medication (forget what it's called) that will help with thinning (effacement) and prepare my body for induction and dilation. They get that hooked up at around 9 PM and we are off. They just came in every hour or so to check and see if your cervix has moved or thinned. Well, my mom and Ty were both in the room with me, the meds weren't hurting, and I was having so much fun. Unfortunately, they were tired and ended our sleepover earlier than I wanted (and I'm the patient-aren't people supposed to do what I want?!). They go to bed, and I basically got NO sleep whatsoever, because every time I dozed off, some lady came in to violate my sleep with her hour check-ups. Sleep was fleeting that night, but I was excited to get the show on the road. The plan originally was to administer the Pitocin at 5AM, Wednesday, as to start dilation, assuming that the night before the medication worked well enough for my cervix to thin and drop (my Dr was leaving on vacation on Thursday, so I basically needed to have the twins Wed.) Well, that night, as I said, I hardly got any sleep between the horrible pain and the check-ups, when they came to check up on me in the morning, I was still along ways off from being ready to start the next medication.
After more, no sleep, and some jello (another great option for avoiding my fear-not), I was finally ready enough to move along into the next step. Pitocin. It was 10AM when they start and basically this medication is really horrible and because it's making your body start dilation, it brings on all those mandatory contractions. IT WAS MISERABLE. I couldn't even lay still for very long and as they tell you with normal, natural contractions, they say, oh, every 5 min. then a few minutes break, and then the closer you get to birth, the longer the contractions last, and the less amount of rest time in between...well, I literally just had one huge contraction. I felt like it never went away and it just stayed there....ripping me apart from the inside. I went from 0 to 100 pretty quick, and the worst part was, the Pitocin wasn't doing anything for my body, so they had to up my dosage. Let's just restate, this was miserable.
after hours of complaining and moaning, they come in to see if I'm wanting an epidural. Well, I was sure that I wanted a natural (well, as natural as it can be, being induced) birth, so I just say no. Well my mom chimes in and reminds me that I'm only dilated to a 2 and if I'm already in that much pain, that it's just going to get A LOT worse. I tell her that I'll probably end up getting one then, but that I'm just not ready. (Another fact about me- I hate needles. I hate them. I hate shots. In a post long ago, I told the story of my first ever shot in the butt during a doctor visit...and well, let's just say I cried, and jumped, and they all laughed at me.) I made the mistake of watching a 5 minute educational video on epidurals. Basically I have no idea what I watched, I just know that the needle was massive and I was scared.
Well, after all this back and forth of nurses asking whether I want an epidural and me pretending like I was going to tough it out...my mom reasoned with me and said, if you're going to end up getting the epidural anyways, why not just get it now, so that you're not miserable...like, DUH. What's the point? Mom's are so smart. I give in and immediately start freaking out. This doctor comes in with an intern-like guy and informs me that this not-a-legitimate-doctor-yet guy will be the one to give me the shot... comforting right... well I waited for it, I held my breathe, asked a lot of stupid questions, and when I asked when they were going to do it, they said that they had already done it and I was all set to go..... ARE YOU KIDDING ME. EPIDURALS ARE THE BEST! After that, I was happy. Suddenly I was able to focus on all the good things about my fun vacation hospital stay.
Well, at this point, we are coming on to about 5:30 PM and I'm dilated to a 3. Yup, it was depressing. My doctor gets off his day job and heads over to the hospital. They decide that they are going to break my water manually-yes this is a thing. Basically it's just like a really hard to reach water balloon. Apparently this was the magic trick because my body kicked into baby-outing mode and I started to dilate pretty rapidly.
Fast forward to 9PM. I am dilated to a 9 and we are ready to start pushing. They let me know that we are going to start in the hospital room, and then when I am really close to delivering, they will move me into the operating room (normal procedure for twin births). This is fine by me... anything is fine by me. I just want my babies out, happy, and healthy.
So, I push.....
and I push.
And my head starts to feel like it's going to explode.
and I push.
Ty is holding one leg back and my mom on the other. Both of them were NOT allowed to look. I wasn't even allowed to look. They offered that mirror.....HELL NO WAS I GOING TO WATCH....especially if I was going to poop. Nope. no way Jose. No mirror for me.
well, I'm still pushing. and Ty and my mom are just looking at me awkwardly because if they even tried to move or flinch I got really mad! haha
I started getting really light-headed after about an hour and a half of pushing. It seriously hurts.
By now the nurses have got my doctor in there who is trying to feel where the babies are at.  My head is throbbing. It felt as though I was pushing so hard that my epidural was fading. I was drinking ice (I was desperate) and  covered with wet washcloths. It was definitely a shining moment.
Things were not happy, and these babies weren't coming. Towards the end of the second hour of pushing every few seconds, they informed me that we would try a few more times and if there was no progress, we would need to prepare for an emergency c-section. I was determined to push these babies out. They were both head down and Fitz was coming out first. Apparently his head was in a weird position, as if he was looking up, so that he was coming out forehead first....apparently this caused some issues, and my doctor reached up and tried to correct it, however, Fitz wasn't budging. With his head in the position it was, he wouldn't fit under my pelvic bone properly.
SO. here we are. a little over two hours of pushing and absolutely no progress had been made. They re-administer some drugs, and wheel me into the operating room.
By this time I have the shakes really bad. I remember them moving me onto the operating table and they strap your arms straight out to your side on these little planks....well, I remember thinking, I don't care how hard they strap my arms down, they are going to flap right off this skinny board. To be honest, I can't really remember if they did or not, my whole body was shaking like crazy, and I was sure that this was going to interfere with them cutting me, basically, in half. Apparently, my shakes had nothing on the epidural drug and all was well.
Considering only one person can join you in the operating room, my mom stayed in the fancy vacation room and Ty was by my side in the operating room. He said he literally saw my insides, which is pretty cool... Well, to some people, like Ty, who has to dissect sick cows in order to send their insides to a lab for testing, it's cool. Anyways, I'm sure my insides were way cuter than a cow's......and we are still married, so he must have seen something he liked.....
ha this feels wrong...
I'll stop.
Anyways, Fitz makes his way out into the world at 12:05AM central time and the first thing said by the doctors is "Welp, it's definitely Ty's baby" haha. Fitz really did look exactly like a miniature version of Ty when he was only seconds old!

Fitz Eldon: 5lbs 15oz, 20 in

I hear the first cry, and only a minute later, I hear Fey. She followed Fitz out quickly and made her way out into the world at 12:06AM.

Fey Ila: 5lbs 1oz, 19 in

I am strapped to the table and all I can hear are the most perfect little cries. They immediately bring them over to Ty and I and I try to stop my head from shaking for long enough to see them. They are perfect and healthy. To be honest, I thought it would be different. I thought I would get to hold them and be with them immediately after birth, but they only let me look at them for a second before they wheeled them off to the NICU for testing. Those next moments were so hard as I had to lay there, hoping the babies were OK and waiting to be sewn back together. I had very limited voluntary movement of the majority of my body at this point, with the numbing drugs and the shaking. They tried lots of meds to help my nervous system calm down, but nothing worked and I ended up having to just count out loud and try to force my body to hold still for one second longer than the last attempt. Ty stayed with me till I was out of surgery and returned to my room. From there, I was alone for most of the night till I fell asleep, still shaking, because my mom and Ty were watching the babies in the NICU. They came to check on me a few times, but I was miserable, in pain, and shaking.... Apparently there were some issues with Fey's breathing, but it corrected itself very quickly. I woke at around 4:45AM that morning to a nurse telling me that the babies were in great condition and would be leaving the NICU in the next hour or so to  bring them to my room. By this time, I was feeling much better, more calm, and ready to see my babies again, and hold them for the first time! 

They ended up bring them into my room about 10 minutes later.

IT was amazing. Motherhood is amazing. I feel like there are so many stigmas to birthing a child. Which way is right. Which way is wrong. What makes you a good mom or not. I think all of this is bullshit. No matter your birth experience, having a child and doing your best to bring them into the world, into a happy and healthy environment is good enough. I love my story because the ending is perfect....well it was until I tried to take a nap....then. Reality hit. and it hits hard. :)

So I have no pictures of the delivery or anything of the sort, and for that I will say you're welcome, rather than I'm sorry. :)
Thanks for reading.
With my pregnancy and birth story posted, I can now get to the everyday life stuff....like, how Fitz tried to touch his toes and found something else instead..... :)

Don't doo doo on the table

At my last appointment, I realized, I was probably going to need to be induced and all that came with that style of birth. Let me first give you all a pointer. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT A BIRTHING PLAN. It will, most likely, not work out the way you want it to. I was set on having a natural birth, no drugs, the natural way. After watching countless episodes of Sex and the City, I always knew my water would break just like Charlotte. I would be out for brunch in Manhattan wearing a fabulous, size 2, Kate Spade dress, and just as I'm walking out of the doors, I run into my best friends ex, but can't get angry because my water breaks, and this misunderstood ex calls all my family and friends, who meet me at the hospital....and you know the rest. THIS IS NOT HOW IT HAPPENS.  First off, I didn't even get to have the experience of contractions at home, the exciting, but frantic packing and race to the car to get to the hospital. I don't know why, but that always seemed so exciting and special to me. That last appointment left me with no hope. I hadn't started dilating whatsoever. I was at a whopping 0%. On top of that, I hadn't dropped or thinned. This had me thinking, well, they are definitely going to push my date back, clearly, the babes, and my body, aren't quite ready....but, NOPE. They just informed me that I would now need to go to the hospital on the 11th to start another medication that would help my cervix drop and thin, and once this happened, they would then administer the Pitocin, which would then force my body to dilate. (Now you might be thinking that I would have some sort of say in all of this, but when you're having twins, you're somewhat considered a special case, and they don't let you decide too much. Considering that they do this for the babies and your own health, I let them be the experts they are and went with the flow. Having PreE didn't help my case either.)

Well, I'm going to take a break right here and tell you one of my worst fears. And all of you who know me pretty well, know that I can't usually just think something without telling someone/everyone and asking their opinion. I'm a pretty open book.... therefore, I asked countless of people, probably at the most inappropriate times if they, for lack of better phrasing, pooped on the table. Now, to some of you, who are young, or male....you don't need to worry about this quite yet, or at all....and some of you may not even know that this is a thing, but let me tell you, THIS IS A THING. I was so frightened above all else that I was going to accidentally push a little too hard...... and you get the rest. People that I talked to about this, telling them that this was my fear, were pretty understanding and supportive of this. They told me, "don't worry about it." "You will be in so much pain and so emotional, you won't even care if it happens." Or "the nurses act so fast, you won't even know." OK.... how the hell don't you know if you just publicly sharted in front of, most likely, multiple family members, and other educated people.... That answer, I will never know.
Now, I'll give you a heads up, I did NOT, everyone hear that, I DID NOT kerplunk on the table! It was certainly a proud moment in my life. Just wanted to share all that with you. And it is unfortunate for those of you who didn't know that this was a thing, and that by reading this was how you had to find out, but it's about time you prepare yourself. I did you a service. You are welcome.

Back to my story. Well, I'll just jump right into that Tuesday, March 11. I woke up, and got myself ready for the day. I remember thinking that it was a special day so I wore one of the two maternity outfits I bought (both dresses-for my showers). It was a comfortable, and cute black wrap around dress, unfortunately, no, it was not a DVF, but I pretended anyways. I wore it with a pair of sandals and a big necklace (for me-not really a huge jewelry person). I'm not kidding, I was attempting to look the best I could on the last day of my life where people didn't watch me doodiley doo on a table. But seriously, don't forget, I didn't.
So I had really nothing to do that day, besides pick up my mom at the small airport, an hour away--in a slightly more populated town. Basically, if it's big enough to have a Mickey Dee's or two it's big enough for me. She flew in that afternoon around 2 o'clock. I picked her up and it was a crazy windy day, hence the idea that I'd look somewhat classy in a wrap dress was completely replaced by just flashing anyone and everyone...and really, I was too pregnant to care.
My mom was pretty excited about surviving the flight to Kansas from Dallas, because it's literally like a 6 seater plane and you land in corn field...and remember, it was windy. haha I envision this scenario and it's just amazing. Other than that, I guess you could say that she was pretty excited about becoming a grandma soon, too. :)
After leaving the airport, we did a little errand running and then headed back to Syracuse to grab my husband and all of our stuff for the hospital. It was so exciting, I was just so so excited to get to the hospital and have the babies.....if I had only known...it doesn't happen like that.
So we drive back to Garden City (where hospital is...and McDonalds) and even though I am still nervous that I am going to make a mess of the delivery table, I somehow still convince myself that it is OK for my last meal to be at a hole in the wall Mexican place. We eat, it was amazing, and then it starts setting in.... HOLY SHITTAKE mushrooms, I'm going to have two babies the next time I eat Mexican.

Basically, I just always talk, or write too much, so once again, I'll get to the birth story in the next post, otherwise, you'd be reading my 'only-exciting-to-me-story' for another 15 min. Thanks for reading.
Shontel

hemorrhoids, pre e, and gallons of pee...oops, I meant pregnancy, part 2

Hemorrhoids.  Yes, I delved into that deep dark secret that no one talks about. But really, enough said. just be prepared. really.

Now on to something less likely to have you dry heaving...

Well, as I said before, I had an awesome pregnancy. Nine months is a long time to prepare for a baby or two. I had four amazing showers. The first in Vegas with my mom's side of the family. It was totally a surprise shower and it was a blast. It was during the one week where my ribs were trying to expand and kept popping out of place, so it was a little painful, but all my fun family trumped the pain, and we played games, ate food, and shoved our faces into melted chocolate diapers all night! so fun. The next shower I had was in California. It was full of people who have been around me my whole life. It was so amazing to bask in baby clothes happiness with all these amazing women who I look up to as role models as mothers and wives. I also got to visit and see some of my oldest friends, so I can definitely say it was an A+ shower! (I don't have the pictures from these showers on my phone of computer, just prints, so hopefully, when I am older and therefore more computer advanced, I will figure out how to post them! haha)

Anyways, because I had so many big items to take back to Kansas with me, from the Vegas and California shower, (and because I was no longer allowed to fly-doctors orders) my amazing dad offered to drive me to Kansas... we even had to drive the long way, as to make an overnight stop in Salt Lake to attend my Utah shower, where some of the best friends in the world all came to make me feel awesome and pretend like I was still skinny...I knew they were lying. haha

 It was another amazing shower, and definitely added to the almost impossible heap of baby awesomeness filling every inch of space in the car we were driving! Finally, about a week and a half before babies were set to come, I had my Kansas shower! It was full of amazing women from my church and tons of great friends I have made in Syracuse. It was so much fun and we were all pretty giddy considering I was so close to hang these babies! At this shower, I was finally to the point where I wasn't about to put on shoes, so all those amazing women had to deal with my bare feet the whole shower. FUN FUN.

With the showers over, I really was just waiting and waiting for babies to arrive. My nursery was ready, I was ready, the only problem was....there was no way we were going to fit two carseats, two people, luggage, and our huge double stroller into our Volvo.

Darn it, I was going to need a bigger car. I was set on something fun and sporty looking. I loved the new Ford Explorer and was set on that till I gave in one day out of mere curiosity and looked at a mini-van. It was in those moments of weakness, that I fell in love. I decided to go with the Nissan Quest, because I love the sleek, more modern look of it. Its like a mini-van trying to look like something cooler...and in my opinion, it does, yet, it still has all the mom-appreciated awesomeness of the standard mini-van. I will admit,
I love it, and can't imagine driving anything else. For a mom with babies, or small kids, it really is a necessity!

Back to my pregnancy story...

At one of my appointments somewhere around the beginning of my third trimester, I had crazy blood pressure. That seemed to worry everyone in the doctors office, so of course, being OCD and a perfectionist, I was determined to force my blood pressure to drop down to the normal.....however, it didn't work. They proceeded to alert me that if my blood pressure didn't drop by the end of my appointment, that I would have to pee in a big orange jug for 24 hours..... this was not on my bucket list, so I desperately tried to avoid it, by telling my doctor that I was positive my blood was just reacting to the very horrible and icy drive we had to the appointment. (The office and hospital I was using were an hour away from my house.) It really was a horrible drive. The roads were so icy, and if you know me and the kind of driver and passenger I am, then you are probably feeling bad for Ty right about now, as he was the driver. (OK...to some of those who knew the old, 'drive like you're on a roller coaster Shontel' I am now the worst backseat/passenger driver and a HUGE scaredy cat, especially if there is any water, ice, or snow on the road. Like, I have a pad of paper, and I hand out tickets to Ty and my mom when I'm driving with them...like, I'm the person, that if you get pulled over, I am grinning, and will probably say something like, "I told you so," after you get a ticket.)
The doctors office wasn't sold that this was the reason for my high blood pressure, so I went on to tell them that it was probably just because I was so excited about the sausage mcmuffin, hash brown, and large coke, light ice I allotted myself for surviving the scary drive.....still, no mercy. I ended up going home with the orange jug of hell. They asked if I needed another one, but looking at the size of it, I was sure I wasn't going to need one.......
So when you're pregnant, you have to pee in a cup at every appointment...and at every appointment, I somehow managed to get worse and worse at it. I'm not going to give you any details, but I'm just going to say that that orange jug was sure to lead to a lot more cleaning needing to be going on in my bathroom. I will say, they are nice and give you this large pot to catch it in, that you put under the seat.....this was scary because it was so close to the top, I always felt as if it was going to ricochet right back at me! haha Karma literally got me back for all those time I saran-wrapped the toilet seats at sleepovers. So it's the night of my 24 hours and I have my sleep hours and a few awake hours in the morning left. That day, I had managed to only leave myself about a couple inches of the jug left for the goods.  In the middle of the night, I woke up in a panic, if I peed now, I would fill up the jug and then I wouldn't have room for my morning necessities. So instead of going, I literally stayed up all night trying to hold it.....but basically it just was piling up.....so, I search online, and find an article saying that if you don't have any more room in your jug, and you don't have another, you can use a jar that has never been used before and make you own jug. Living in a small town, nothing is open...so I wait..and I hold..... till 8am when the market opens. I wobble (still holding) over to the grocery store. (I'm literally dancing and doing the cross leg walk by the time I get to the checkout line. I buy a 24 pack of jars....yes, I only needed one, but guess what, they don't just sell one damn jar...they make you buy a whole canning system! I get home and I swear, it was euphoric! MY 24 HOURS were done! All that was left was dropping the jug and jar off at the local hospital for testing. I did this, and I held my head high as I carried a suspicious orange jug and a clear jar of pee around till I made my way to the lab. The technician informed me that the internet was wrong, and that the jar wouldn't work...all that for nothing.... luckily, what I had was good enough and I didn't need to redo it! yay!
While I was at the hospital, I was told to get my blood pressure checked again.... I did and apparently it was still really bad.... and the doctor who was there told me that I needed to get home, and not move because I should be on bed rest, or else I would die.... no, he didn't say that, but he was getting pretty crazy...so in all serious scenarios when I don't know what to do, I started joking around. He did NOT like this, and gave me a whole list of things I was not allowed to do.... NO RUNNING, NO WALKING, NO EATING SALT (worst day ever), NO DRINKING CAFFEINE.....

HOLD UP

no caffeine....do you know me? clearly, he didn't.  (I did stop drinking soda for the majority of my pregnancy, but after careful (very liberal) research, I realized I could have one soda a day....which of course, to me, meant one 44oz and refills didn't count.)   :)  I still thought I could charm this stern doctor with my awkwardness and cool jokes..... after he stated very meanly that I was NOT ALLOWED TO DRINK CAFFEINE, I decided this was the best time to pull the half drank..drunk..drinken..dranken?....liter of Mt Dew out of my bag, saying..."well can I hurry and finish this then before all the rules set in." ......He didn't like that...I actually think the guy shook his judgement finger at me... but I survived his death stare and bolted.
The results of my orange jug experience came back and I officially had preeclampsia. I had a very very mild case, but my induction date went from week 38 to 37, and other than that, nothing was different. PreE can be fatal and really serious, it doesn't effect the babies, but it basically is just showing that the mother's body is in stress being pregnant...and I really don't know or care to know much more than that. Any illness that cuts you off from salt and caffeine is not worth any of my webmd search time. :)

With the peeing in a jug and preE blip out of the way, everything else went really smoothly. I didn't get swollen feet till the very end of my pregnancy, my body didn't bloat too bad till the last week, and I was getting decent amount of sleep for being so ginormous. I did have a major case of nesting syndrome which was really fun, because I'm super OCD and cleaning makes me really happy. Not the cleaning itself, but the final product of having a clean home. the best feeling ever. My nursery was done early so basically by eight and a half months I was just wishing and trying to mind force my children to come out. I didn't really want them to come early for the sake of their health, size, and development, but being a first time pregnant soon to be mom, it is a battle of wishing they would arrive early so that you can hold them and see them, but then on the other side, you know the benefits of them staying put for as long as possible. My induction date was set for March 12, but i secretly tried to fake contractions so I could get myself excited like I was going to have babies soon. haha in this scenario, the saying "fake it till you make it" had no effect. My little boo boos were in there for the long haul.

I decided this post is going to be way too long if I go into the whole birthing story, so I will save the rest for the next post! stay tuned!
Thanks for reading. or just pretending to read. :)
Shontel